Our two used-to-be-tomcats – Prankster Hrasko and Bubble Hrasko – had already surprised us several times with their health problems, so we were not very much afraid when we noticed on the younger that he had a pink eye. The nice veterinarian – who had already helped us several times – explained what the cause was, but the prescription and the treatment was a bit peculiar this time.

We had to buy a drug named Euphrasia C5. If someone did not know, he should suppose – based on the abbreviation C5 – that this must be a homeopathic remedy, in which the active ingredient is present in 100⁵ – i.e. ten billionth – dilution. That could even work, but based on the veterinarian C9 or C12 would be good as well. In the latest one the original tincture is diluted by 10²⁴ and there are high chances that there is not a single molecule of the original substance present in the solvent. According to the homeopaths the solvent (water or alcohol) will “remember” the substance and it will express the proper effect within my cat.

This is a controversial theory on its own, but interestingly I am not getting Euphrasia C5 in a solvent – i.e. as a liquid –, but in form of small spheres. These are produced somehow in a way that the sugar spheres are splashed with the “remembering” solvent. The liquid will evaporate quite fast, but meanwhile the “information” will be passed on to the sugar and from this point on it is the sugar that will “remember”.

And this is not the entire story! At each treatment I have to dissolve 5 such spheres in half deciliter still mineral water (I guess I shouldn’t remind you that the “memory” goes to the water now) and I have to push a spoonful (for God’s sake, use only plastic spoon, aluminum destroys memory!) of it into the mouth of the cat. Well, in case you did not know, I tell you that this latest operation is so much difficult that the information will be lost for sure: it will either leak out at the side of his mouth, it will be mixed with my blood or he will sneeze the whole information on me…

OK, and what if the cat is not getting better (which is anyhow quite improbable as cats usually recover even if their stupid owners do not worry so much, do not cram them into small boxes and do not take them to those ugly, white dressed humanoids)? Well, it does not mean that Euphrasia C5 is ineffective, as several irregularities might have happened during the treatment.

For example the beast had eaten or drunken something before the treatment or within half an hour after that – and this is strictly forbidden! It is possible that the medicine (or the cat?) got in the vicinity of some radiating stuff (no, not Chernobil, but some microwave oven or a lethal mobile phone), it was stored nearby non-homeopathic remedies (in the pharmacy? No way!) or there were some aromatic substances around.

I decided that I will apply the homeopathic principle for the frequency of the treatment itself, namely I will dose the remedy every 10¹⁰-th days only. Fortunately the veterinarian lady also prescribed tobramycin that had cured my father as well earlier, so most probably Bubble will not perish for it either. I only have to be able to hold him down until we drip it into his eyes.